Friday, 13 January 2012

Prepare to make carrot cake!

I ran down to the field where all the other rabbits were. We were going to collect carrots to make carrot cake -- everybunny's favourite!

I found everyone sitting on the grass, looking at Nigel Floppyears. He stood at the front, pointing at a map of the carrot field.

Rabbit lecturing

"What's going on?" I asked Clarissa.

"Don't ask!" she said. "Nigel's decided that we need a more efficient carrot-collecting strategy."

"No talking at the back!" shouted Nigel. "Concentrate; this is important."

I looked round. Several rabbits were trying to suppress a yawn, and even Winston, Nigel's little dog, was curled up asleep.

"Now," Nigel continued. "Every rabbit needs to learn that the carrot is our enemy! It is our mission to catch that carrot, but the carrot does not want to be caught. So what must we do? What must we do to defeat the carrot?"

I put up my hand. "We pull it out of the ground?"

"Good heavens, if only it were that simple! This is a serious, complicated manoeuvre. First, we have to prepare! We have to find our carrot. We have to disarm our carrot. We have to catch our carrot. Then, and only then, can we make carrot cake. Fortunately, technology is on our side." He held up a small screen.

CarrotNav (for rabbits)

"CarrotNav: Uses GPS to locate and identify the nearest carrot."

And just gone three o'clock, I noted. Nearly tea-time.

"Next, we have to prepare for every situation that might arise. Heavy boots to cross the muddy field; goggles to protect your eyes against that carotene glare; a net to catch the carrot, and a box to make sure he doesn't escape. And a hard hat in case the little devil tries to fight back."

Rabbit hunter

"Is that it?" asked Clarissa. "Can we go and get the carrots now?"

"One more thing," said Nigel. "We have to make sure that carrot does not see us coming, or he'll run. What do we to make sure the carrot doesn't see us coming, eh?" Nigel asked.

"We go at night?" I suggested.

"Don't be silly, everyone knows that carrots can see well in the dark. No -- we go in disguise! Wait, I'll show you." Nigel went behind the tree. A moment later --

Rabbit disguised as carrot

"Ta-da! Now, everyone follow me!"

He ran towards the carrot field.

"Come on," said Clarissa. "Everyone just pull a carrot as usual, and we'll go back to the burrow and make cake. Bob Tail, you put the kettle on."

And jolly nice cake it was too.

Thursday, 12 January 2012

Grounded

"But I want to go and chase the carrots in the field!", I cried.

"No, Bob Tail Rabbit," said Big Boss Bunny. "You've not being doing your work. Look at that blog of yours: not a single drawing on there for months and months and months. You're not going out until you've done something. Consider yourself grounded."

I sulked off to my studio. Through the window, I could see some of the other rabbits chasing the carrots.

Rabbit looking out of the window


I cleared away a patch of dust, and sat next to my easel.

Rabbit sitting next to an easel


I stared at my paintbrushes, and they stared at me. "We haven't seen you in a long time," they seem to say.

Then I looked at a blank piece of paper for quite a long time.

Rabbit looking at a blank piece of paper


It stayed blank.

Suddenly, I had an idea! I wound up the computer, and logged onto Rabbitbook.

rabbitbook


Four hours later, I still couldn't think of anything to draw.

I went back to Big Boss Bunny. "It's no good, I can't think of anything to draw. The muse is not with me. I have no inspiration."

"Bah," said Big Boss Bunny. "Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work."*

I went back to the studio, picked up a pencil, and started to draw. Anything. I drew a carrot and a cat and a tree and a bird and a rabbit.

Rabbit drawing a rabbit


But I still couldn't think of anything I wanted to draw. I squeezed some paint onto my palette and stood in front of the easel.

Rabbit painting at an easel


I did a quick sketch of Clarissa with her enigmatic smile.

Bunna Lisa


But I still couldn't think of anything I wanted to draw.

"I'm telling you, I can't think of anything to draw!" I almost shouted at Big Boss Bunny.

"Oh, you silly rabbit," said Big Boss Bunny. "Look: you've drawn everything you've done! The inspiration was around you all the time. Now you can go out, and chase the carrots. Good rabbit."


* Big Boss Bunny has been reading Mr Chuck Close.